‘’no, no, nooh... Kathy I wouldn’t take that. No I wouldn’t take that’’ Yomi yelled, her voice almost bursting her pharynx. She pointed her long index finger at me. I was terrified, sore afraid. I had never seen my friend that mad. She picked up a picture of me which I was contemplating on tearing because of my awkward smile.
’do you see this lady?’ she pressed it against my slightly pointed nose. ‘’she is beautiful despite her flaws and no matter what people tell you, they are not your God’’.
I turned down the picture, and although three days had passed by, her words rung incessantly in my ears and I could not refrain from looking at the picture. I was the same person, same colour, looks, height and size, only slimmer (unilorin better by stress) but I was a different lady and I could feel it.
I looked sternly into the over edited picture. I was fed up of being Catherine and I had decided to take on a new identity.
Yes! No one wants to be the girl who had been labelled a freak all her life and walked around with a tag stapled on herself inscribed ‘’queen of all nerds’’. Or a girl who could feed on anyone’s shit so as not to be labelled ‘rude’.
Okay! Just stop reading this. Yes! If you don’t want to know my biggest secrets, all you have to do is romance your touchpad or keypad with your fingers and click ‘’BACK’’. But if you go on... anyway you can’t verify if this is the truth or fiction.
I had been frustrated with myself and Yomi and a few of my friends had only provided an opportunity to disown myself. But they had taken it personally when I told them how I stammered NO WORDS in the presence of the boys I had massive crushes on back in primary and secondary. But they laughed with their cheeks touching their foreheads when they knew that I could fall flat if people starred too much (if you try it you would be disappointed)
Okay, who loves being a geek, a long time title holder with no defeat. I first heard the word in primary school when my elder brother told his friend that he had a sister who was a geek. The next time was in secondary school when my boyfriend then told me that he loved me more because I was a geek(lie...now I get the message), then frequently after that. Although I am hoping that the last time I hear it will be 2 weeks ago when my project mates called me a nerd a.k.a geek.
What was always my reaction? A smile and a tear that peeped much later. I smiled because it felt good to be called a geek by people who obviously admire my potentials. The same potentials that made great men today, geeks yesterday. It felt good to be unique and peculiar in the midst of a ‘’show me I do it ‘’ generation.
But then, just as I leave their presence, a cold reality embraces me (that’s when the tear part comes). One that leaves me shivering. I remember who a geek is. A geek is ‘’ugly Betty’’, ‘’Harry Potter’’.’’Steve in family matters’’ and worst of all ‘’ Mr Bean’’. They usually wore glasses, bent their shoulders, had bad fashion sense and never dated the cool guys.
But honestly, I loved Catherine the geek, who wore glasses, memorised science documentaries, asked questions in class and thought she knew better than the lecturers. I loved her but more than I loved her I could barely tolerate the fact that she was a geek. Geeks have low self esteem; they think they can never look good, they think the whole world revolves around books not knowledge. A geek looks at the mirror and sees a monster when a queen is staring back at her.
Geeks, what makes a geek one is the long list of faults she drafted about herself. It’s the fear of what people will say that causes the stuttering, blunders and long speeches she gives to defend her mistakes.
But I quit, I quit the association of geeks. I denounce every association with the geek kingdom, although I intend to keep all the gifts and talents I developed as a result of being a geek.
Since then, I care more about what God says about me, I look at myself in the mirror and ask it a question and guess what it answers’’ it is you oh fair maiden’’. I’ll ignore anyone’s rude comment and if they talk too much I’ll simply paste my standards on their faces. I AM MOVING FORWARD Ohh...completely away from the geek kingdom and may God help me.
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